Emmett In A Box
by Miss Book
Summary: What would happen if you put Emmett in a big box that he couldn't get out of? Written by -Miss Book-, and LivLifeForever. It's kind of out there.
1. Where Am I?

**AN: Hi!**

**I don't own any Twilight characters. Sad.**

**We got the idea from Howie Do It.**

**Wow, we get a lot of good ideas from Howie. Well, only 2.**

**Enjoy reading Miss Book and LivLifeForever's idea of what would happen to Emmett if we put him in a box.**

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Emmett: What? Where am I? How did I get here?

Game Host Voice Coming From A Speaker On The Wall: You signed on. It's a reality show.

Emmett: I don't remember that?

Speaker Voice: The knockout solution that we gave you might result in some memory loss.

Emmett: Knockout…I can't be knocked out. I can't even sleep!

Speaker Voice: Why can't you sleep, Contestant 72?

Emmett: …

Speaker Voice: Would you like some more knockout solution?

Emmett: NO!

(Wait)

Emmett: Where am I?

Speaker Voice: Please be silent 72, Challenge 1 is about to begin.

Emmett: Challenge? What?

(Wait)

Speaker Voice: Identify the fruit.

Emmett: What fruit?

Speaker Voice: The soundclip has already been played. Please no questions.

Emmett: I didn't hear! Play it again! Please! Come on, there mus-Wait! Fruits don't make sounds.

Speaker Voice: Fourteen, twelve, eleven, thirty, fifty-five, nine, seventy-two, incorrect. Rest, correct.

Emmett: This is crap.

Speaker Voice: For all who were incorrect, two weeks added.

Emmett: Added to what?

Speaker Voice: Your stay.

Emmett: How long is that?

Speaker Voice: Two weeks longer than before.

Emmett: How long was it before?

Speaker Voice: Do the math.

Emmett: What math?

(A piece of paper with a math equation falls from the ceiling)

Emmett: What's this?

Speaker Voice: The math.

Emmett: What? OK….(does the math) What does this have to do with me?

Speaker Voice: That was challenge two. You failed.

Emmett: 2+2=4! What kind of a question is 2+2? How could I get that wrong?

Speaker Voice: Two weeks has been added to your sentence.

Emmett: My sentence? Like jail? Rose is going to kill me.

Speaker Voice: Death is not an option.

Emmett: What?

* * *

Emmett: Are you still there?

(Silence)

Emmett: I'd like to hear my options then.

Speaker Voice: There are no options. Please, wait until challenge 3.

Emmett: I-…fine.

Emmett: 99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles

(97 Bottles Later)

Emmett: 2 bottles of pop

Speaker Voice: SILENCE!!!

Speaker Voice: Challenge 3 is about to begin in 3…………2……………1………..Contestant 72, don't kill the kitten.

Emmett: Ok. This shouldn't be too bad.

(Kitten walks into the room, and cuddles Emmett's feet)

Emmett: Hey there kitty. What's your name?

Kitten: Meow

Emmett: Nice name. I'm going to call you Meow Meow.

Meow Meow: Meow

Emmett: Half way there…

Meow Meow: (Jumps up on Emmett and knocks him over)

Emmett: What the F#$!#&!

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72, one week added to your sentence for inappropriate language.

Meow Meow: Meow

Emmett: This is bullcrap. I'm getting out of here. (Starts to claw at the wall)

Speaker Voice: Three weeks added.

Emmett: Waaaaaaaah!

Meow Meow: Meow

Emmett: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU'VE BEEN OF NO HELP TO ME.

Meow Meow: (Starts to claw at wall and makes more progress than Emmett did)

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72, stop setting a bad example for Miss Meow.

Emmett: Oh, so that's her name. Sounds like something Alice would name a cat.

Miss Meow: Meow Meow

Emmett: Meow 3 times if you want me to _**change**_ you.

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72?

Emmett: Yes?

Speaker Voice: Food or Toilet?

Emmett: Guns.

Speaker Voice: Miss Meow?

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Food or Toilet?

Miss Meow: Meow Meow Meow

Emmett: (Runs up behind and bites Miss Meow)

Miss Meow: (Attacks Emmett. Bites Emmett)

Emmett: You can't bite me! I'm a va-…

Miss Meow: Meow?…..

Emmett: Va……n repair man.

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72?

Emmett: (sighs) What now?

Speaker Voice: Would you like to try to fall asleep, have us knock you out with knockout gas, or us to start to shooting you with those guns you and Miss Meow suggested earlier?

Emmett: What kind of a question is that?

Speaker Voice: Multiple choice.

Emmett: If I choose knockout gas, then I have no idea what you're going to do with me, but if I choose guns, then I know what you're gunna do, and I know it's not good. I don't know what's worst. So………..I choose knockout gas.

Miss Meow: Meow Meow Meow

Speaker Voice: Very well.

(Wait)

(Wait)

(Machine guns start shooting into the room from the previously un-noticed reward chute.)

Emmett: (Lies down flat on the ground hoping to not get shot.) AHHHHH! I said GAS!

Miss Meow: Meow

(Guns keep firing)

Emmett: HALP ME!!!! ROSE!!!!!!

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: My wife.

Miss Meow: Meow (Insert here a sad smilie and a broken heart symbol)

Emmett: What? You loved me? Then why did you order to have me shot?

Miss Meow: Meow Meow

Emmett: By the way, I don't speak cat.

Miss Meow: Me Neither.

Emmett: Wait- Yu sprekenz ze Eenglish?!?

Miss Meow: Not as well as you (SARCASM!!)

Emmett: Why didn't you say something, in English, earlier?

Miss Meow: You weren't dreaming earlier.

Emmett: Waaa……..

**Ending Author's note!**

I know that this may seem unrealistic, but he's in a box in MY WORLD. That means that whatever I say goes. I say Emmett can't get out of the box. I also say that there's no such thing as e.

**There's the button. **V **You know what to do.**


	2. Reward Visitor

**AN: I've been informed by the word count that this chapter is really short. It was the same length when we typed it up. *.* **

**Characters are not mine.**

Speaker voice: CONTESTANT 72! WAKE UP!

Emmett: I can FLY! I can FLY! I can FLY!

Speaker voice: Silence!

Emmett: Huh? Oh sorry.

Cat: Meow.

Speaker voice: You sleep-talk as much as Contestant 65.

Emmett: Who is that? Wait, th-

Speaker voice: Did I not say silence?

Emmett: **…**

Cat: Meow.

Emmett: (whispering) _shhh!… Miss Meow! You'll get us in trouble!_

Cat: (whispurring) _meow meow._

Emmett: That's better.

Cat: Meow.

Emmett: What are you saying?

Cat: Meow.

Emmett: (slaps forehead)

Cat: (Jumps on Emmett, knocks him over, then curls up on his lap.)

Emmett: oooookay. (*cuddles*)

Cat: Meow.

Emmett: 3 I _wuv_ you too.3

Speaker voice: Contestant 72. Identify the pun.

Emmett: My sanity?

Speaker voice: Incorrect.

Emmett: The lack thereof?

Speaker voice: Incorrect.

Emmett: The fact that I am being pummelled by a kitten?

Speaker voice: Incorrect. Please return Miss Meow through the reward chute.

Emmett: NOOOOOOO!!!! ( holds Miss Meow close)

Speaker voice: Contestant 72. You are losing your challenge…

Emmett: *sniff* fine. Goodbye Miss Meow. *sniff* I'll miss you! *SOBS*

Cat: Meow Meow Meow.

Emmett: (puts cat down chute)

Speaker voice: Congratulations! You have completed your first challenge successfully.

Emmett: Yay! (dances)

Speaker voice: As a reward, would you like one phone call, or one visitor?

Emmett: How long would each be?

Speaker voice: Phone call= 1 hour. Visitor= 30 minutes.

Emmett: I choose a visitor.

(A rose is thrown into the room through the reward chute)

Emmett: Huh?

Speaker voice: It's your wife.

Emmett: HEY! I meant Rosalie! I'm not married to a plant.

Speaker voice: Time begins now.

Emmett: So…… How ya doin'?........You..uh… come here often?

Speaker voice: **…**

Emmett: What am I supposed to do with this?!?!?!

Speaker voice: **…**

Emmett: Na na, Na na na, Na, Na, Naaaaa…..

Speaker voice: Na. Na. Na. Na.

Emmett: What do you want with me?! WHY AM I HERE?!?!?!

Speaker voice: I'm sorry. I shouldn't've intruded on your romantic moment with your wife.

Emmett: MY WIFE ISN'T HERE!!! Couldn't you at least have sent a person?

Speaker voice: You are unhappy with the reward?

Emmett: Well, frankly, yes.

Speaker voice: You ungrateful hoe.

Emmett: (gapes)

Speaker voice: Interesting… So you're saying that you _don't_ have sexual feelings for your wife.

Emmett: I do. But this is not my wife. (trying to keep his patientce.)

Speaker voice: We are legally required to ask your permission before we give you medication for your delusional state.

Emmett: No, you may not!

(The room starts filling with delusional state medication gas)

Emmett: I- hey! I…I s-smell…thaaaaaattttt….. (collapses)

Speaker voice: Interesting. You seem to be responding strangely. I should go tell the product developers that this version doesn't work either.

Emmett: Am I ssshome k-kind uf ex-pear-i-mint or stuufffs?

Speaker voice: Congratulations! You have finally successfully completed challenge 1.

Emmett: The fruit was an ex-pear-i-mint?... Yay!

Speaker voice: Incorrect!

Emmett: What?!?! Do I still get a reward?

Speaker voice: No. Two Weeks.

Emmett: Damn.

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**Hope you enjoyed.**

**R&R**

**(P.S. That doesn't stand for rest and relaxation.)**

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	3. Emmett Loves Fire And Scrabble

**Hello All**

**Thank you for you reviews that have inspired me to type up this chapter.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Emmett does not belong to me, but no hard feelings, because he doesn't belong to you either! Ha! (Unless you're Stephanie) JK**

**So without any further adoooooooo.........................**

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Speaker Voice: Are you awake contestant 72?

Emm: No. Go away.

Speaker Voice: No. It's breakfast time.

Emmett: Uggghhh....

Speaker Voice: Take the bowl from the reward chute.

Emmett: But I don't want it.

Speaker Voice: You must be very hungry.

Emmett: I am, very much so.

Speaker Voice: Would you like some bread?

Emmett: Are you asking because you're serious, or because you like to see me in pain.

Speaker Voice: Neither, I'm asking because it's a segway into the next challenge.

Emmett: Oh! Well far be it from me to stand in your way.

Speaker Voice: Your next challenge is to cook a meal on the stove behind you.

Emmett: That's funny. There's no stove behind m- WHOA! Where the hell did that come from?

Speaker Voice: 3......2......1......GO!!

Emmett: Well, I'm sure as heck not going to eat anything you could cook on a stove, so I'll just make a flame thrower.

Speaker Voice: Ha ha ha! Like you could build a flame thrower.

(One half hour later)

Speaker Voice: What is that? What did you do to my oven?

Emmett: It's a flame-thrower. I'm going to escape at last!

Speaker Voice: Wha- No! Don't do that!

Emmett: Ha Ha! If you don't want me to do it, it must be awesome. (Tries to torch the nearest wall.)

Speaker Voice: NO!

Emmett: (Wall catches fire and he goes to the next one.) YES!

Speaker Voice: If you don't stop now there will be consequences.

Emmett: Psh! What do I care how many weeks you add to my sentence? I'm bustin' out!

Speaker Voice: If you don't stop, people who you care about will be harmed.

(A rose is thrown through the reward chute)

Emmett: That. Is. Not. My. Wife.

Speaker Voice: You're in denial.

Emmett: What? I've never even been to Egypt.

Speaker Voice: What?

Emmett: Denial. De Nile. Da' Nile. The Nile. River......In Egypt.

Speaker Voice: That was lame. Two weeks added.

Emmett: Aw man! I-wait. I'm supposed to be breaking out. (restarts setting fire to things)

(From behind the reward chute door a faint 'MEOW' can be heard)

Emmett: (Stops momentarily) Miss Meow? (Hopefully) Is that you?

Miss Meow: Meow. Meow. Meow.

Speaker Voice: Send us the fire devise and no one gets hurt.

Emmett: You sickos would hurt a kitten?

Speaker Voice: Well, you would be the one hurting her. Technically.

Emmett: OKAY!!! OK! I'LL STOP!

Speaker Voice: (Silence)

Emmett: Can.....can you send her back to me.....please.

Speaker Voice: Put the flamethrower in the reward chute.

Emmett: Alright. (Does so)

Speaker Voice: Here's the cat.

Miss Meow: (Walks out reward chute, jumps on Emmett, knocks him over)

Emmett: Aww! You crazy loveable little rascal, I've missed you so much. (Hugs miss meow)

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: Woochie-Woochie-Woo! Woozie-Wuzzle-Wuzzle.

Speaker Voice: We thought we should tell you, we're going out to dinner to celebrate successfully handling a dangerous criminal with a firearm. You'll be here tonight alone, so we've decided to leave you a first aid kit so you can deal with your wife who you've stepped on several times. Have a good night. Sleep well.

Emmett: Seriously?

Silence

Emmett: Wow, they're really gone Miss Meow.

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: I always thought that they/it/he/she was some kind of omni-presence that never leaves.

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: I think that this is finally our chance to escape.

Miss Meow: Meow Meow Meow.

Emmett: Are you in?

Miss Meow: Meow. Meow-meow MeowMeow. Meow.

Emmett: Great! I knew I could count on you.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: Okay, first we need to work out some sort of communication system.

Miss Meow: Meow-MeowMeow.

Emmett: No, I don't know Morse code.

Miss Meow: Meow(rolls eyes)

Emmett: Do you even know what I'm saying?

Miss Meow: (Evil stare)

Emmett: Sorry.

Miss Meow: Meow. (Collapses at Emmet's feet)

Emmett: Oh, yes. I forgot, you're a cat of sorts.

Miss Meow: Meow-Meow.

Emmett: Yes, I'll rub behind your ears.

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: (rubs ears and belly)

Miss Meow: Hiss.....

Emmett: (Gasp) What?

Miss Meow: Meow Meow.

Emmett: Did I hurt you or something?

Miss Meow: MeowMeow

Emmett: I'm sorry.

Miss Meow: Meow!

Emmett: Oh, then why did you hiss?

Miss Meow: (Licks tummy) Meow Meow

Emmett: Is it like your "private square"?

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: Oh. Sorry. That's......awkward.

Miss Meow: Meow...........

Emmett: You wanna play scrabble or somethin'.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: Yay!

Miss Meow: Meow-Meow. Meow. Mueow. Meeeeoooow.

Emmett: Wow, that's clever.

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: Okay, my turn. S-T-O-O-P-I-D. Seven letter score.

Miss Meow: Meow? Meow. (Jumps at Emmett and knocks him over)

Speaker Voice: Ha ha! You're so dumb, and you got knocked over by a kitten.

Emmett: You know, add a few more weeks onto my sentence. The only thing that could make this more entertaining was if Bella was here.

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: Oh, just this hilarious klutzy human.

Speaker Voice: Don't talk about my Bella that way!

Emmett: WHAT?

Speaker Voice: Gotcha!

Emmett: Whoa, I thought you were Edward. That would've sucked.

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: My bro.

Miss Meow: Meow (Runs in circle and chases her tail)

Emmett: Hey, that looks like fun! (Chases Miss Meow's tail)

Speaker Voice: The end is near.

Emmett: I know! I've almost got it.

Miss Meow: Hiss

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**Don't forget to review!**


	4. Speaker Hates Card Games

**AN Okay, so first of all, I'm sorry that I uploaded this twice. I forgot to do a final edit and write the Author's note.**

**I don't own Emmett. But neither does my sister, so HA!**

**Did I already use that one.**

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Emmett: Miss Meow?

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: Why are you black?

Miss Meow: ……

Emmett: You were orange before.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: Whatever.

Speaker Voice: Welcome to Day 2.

Emmett: Day 2?!?! I've been here for at least two weeks.

Speaker Voice: You have no sleep cycle, therefore no sense of time.

Emmett: That's wack!

Speaker Voice: Wiggity-Wack?

Emmett: No, just the regular kind.

Speaker Voice: Gig- na- fa- watchya- IDIOTS!

Miss Meow: Meow?

Speaker Voice: Sorry, there's a group of idiots beside me who should be working, but they're playing cards.

Emmett: Can I play?

Speaker Voice: No.

Emmett: Why?

Speaker Voice: They're playing the stupidest game ever.

Emmett: What game is that?

Speaker Voice: DON'T INTERRUPT ME!

Emmett: sorry

Speaker Voice: SHUT UP!

Emmett: Is……um…..you seem angry…..er…….than usual……So……..um…….What was that game?

Speaker Voice: President.

Emmett: I love that game!

Speaker Voice: WHAT?

Emmett: Just kidding. I've never heard of it.

Miss Meow: meow…

Speaker Voice: wait for it…

Speaker Voice: wait for it…

Emmett: For what?

Speaker Voice: wait for it…

Speaker Voice: It's time for the adventure of Strongboy and the creepy orange/black colour changing cat named by Alice.

Emmett: (Jump into superhero pose)

Miss Meow: (Jump into superhero (Cat?) pose)

Speaker Voice: Que theme music!

…

Speaker Voice: Theme music???

…

Speaker Voice: You idiots! Play the theme music!

Emmett: Me?....

Speaker Voice: What do you mean you never made the theme music? What were you doing all this time?

Emmett: ……I'm confused…..

Speaker Voice: PLAYING CARDS!?!?!?

Emmett:….Oh.

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: I think she's talking to the 'idiots' who she works with.

Speaker Voice: I CAN TALK TO THE 'PRESIDENT' ANY WAY I WANT TO! Oh, the mic is still on….how….embarassing.

Emmett: AHA! You make mistakes! I still have a chance to escape.

Speaker Voice: Not my fault! Jim was supposed to work the mic.

Miss Meow: Meow?

Speaker Voice: He's playing cards.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: That's okay, we'll do our own superhero music.

Speaker Voice: Oh, no.

Emmett: Duh, doo di doo, du di da, la la loooo, Strong Boy and…..that cat name….da dia da!

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: (To Cat) You're right miss meow. (To Speaker) We are unhappy with our superhero names. I mean, Strong _Boy?_ I'm not a boy. Can I be Strong Man? And Miss Meow's name is too long-

Miss Meow: Meow.

Emmett: and insulting.

Speaker Voice: How about Boxboy and Coolcat?

Miss Meow: Meow. (Nods head)

Speaker Voice: It's settled then.

Emmett: NO! NO! That's worse! And it still says boy in it.

Speaker Voice: It's too late. We've already gone public.

Emmett: What?

Speaker Voice: Just kidding.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Speaker Voice: You're right Miss Meow, we _should_ call him 'Cheerleader'.

Emmett: WHAT?

Speaker Voice: Lolz.

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**Anyway. Sorry if you were disappointed. I know it was a long wait, and this isn't my best work ever, but in my defence, I had to go at this one alone -without my fabulous co-writer LivLifeForever- and with a bunch of my crazy classmates yelling about cards right beside me.**

**"If you have any comments about the [story 'Emmett in a Box'] or would like to suggest topics for future [chapters], drop us a line at [that review box]." -How it is made. **

**Yep, that's right, I've twisted the words of a mildly popular television program, so that it tells you to review our story.**


	5. The Best Marker and The Worst Vegetable

**AN: As you may or may not know, I do not own Emmett. Plus, sorry if this chapter is short. To make up for it, I'll update sometime in the next few days, but ONLY if you review.**

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Miss Meow: Meow-e-ow-e-ow Meow Meow

Emmett: Very…Melodic?

Speaker Voice: You must now resist the Sharpies.

(A 24 pack of Sharpies lay on a stack of paper on the table behind Contestant 72)

Emmett: It's like the challenges are just becoming easier and easier!

Speaker Voice: Phase two: Protect the Sharpies.

Emmett: …From?...

Miss Meow: Meow Meow (Hypnotic stare in her eyes, staring at Sharpies)

Emmett: Ummm…Miss Meow? Stay. You don't me to lose the challenge, do you?

Miss Meow: Meow (Turns away from Sharpies and lies down)

Emmett: *Phew* Thank goodness.

Speaker Voice: Would you like a log?

Emmett: Of wood?

Speaker Voice: Yes…

Emmett: Should I?

Speaker Voice: There's a surplus of them even after we gave them away as door prizes at the Christmas party, _and_ put the legal maximum amount in the food we've been-

Miss Meow: (Quickly gets up and jumps at the Sharpies, opens the package, and draws (HOW!?!?!?) three pictures of artichokes.)

Speaker Voice: Oh my.

Emmett: I-Wha-Mi-WHY ARTICHOKES?!?

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Oh, by the way; two-three weeks.

Emmett: What? You can't decide.

Speaker Voice: Five then?

Emmett: Damn it.

Miss Meow: Meow. (Jumps up on Emmett, knocks him over, and cuddles in his lap.)

Emmett: Hey! You said you weren't going to use the Sharpies!...Or, at least, I _think_ that's what you said.

Miss Meow: Meow (Draws (STILL HOW!?!?!?) an artichoke on Emmett's forehead)

Emmett: (Sarcastically) Thank you. That's- yes. That's exactly what I wanted from this experience.

Speaker Voice: Oh my God Miss Meow! You ruined his life FOREVER! Those are PERMENANT markers. He's going to have to live with an artichoke on his forehead for the rest of his life!

Emmett: What?!?!? No, even permanent marker comes off if you use the right cleaning solution.

Speaker Voice: It's not called 'An _Almost Permanent_ Marker'.

Emmett: But paint stripper gets rid of everything!!!

Speaker Voice: Including flesh.

Emmett: But I don-

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: You're correct Miss Meow, this argument won't make good TV.

Emmett: Am I on TV? (Looks around for camera and smoothes shirt.)

(Out of the ceiling, a bucket dumps green goo on Contestant 72.)

Emmett: (Insanely hopeful) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! So I've been "Punk'd"? And that's it? (Chuckles nervously) I can like, go home now and stuff?

Speaker Voice: The end is near.

Miss Meow: Meow.

Speaker Voice: I know; I've used that line before. Oh, by the way Contestant 72; No you can't. Two weeks.

Emmett: *Sob*

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**AN: Because I'm really tired (due to the fact that I was up till 5 AM last night making a Harry Potter Snich cake and writing this story for you) I don't have much funny left. I'll just let George Bush do the closing for me.**

**"I have opinions of my own-strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them" -George Bush**

**If you have opinions or any sort of comment or if you ever want to see another chapter, please review.**


	6. Already on Fire

**AN Since I got _sooooo _many reviews you get this.**

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Speaker Voice: And I screamed, but it was too late. He was already on fire.

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: I know. Oh, Contestant 72, you're awake.

Emmett: Aren't I always?

Speaker Voice: Absolutely Never!

Emmett: So- I….*Sigh* ya. I'm awake.

Speaker Voice: Sorry much. I English small weak.

Emmett: You're right. Your English does smell reek.

Speaker Voice: Stop making fun of the intern. Besides, if anyone here reeks, it's you. You haven't showered in way too long and that goo stuck in your hair has a vile odour.

Emmett: You're acting like it's my fault! How long have I been here anyways?

Speaker Voice: For your next challenge, we will be playing two lies and a truth.

Emmett: Uh, isn't it two truths and a lie.

Speaker Voice: If you successfully isolate and destroy the truth you will win a date with Rosalie.

Emmett: I _told _you before. I'm not married to anything that grows on a bush.

Speaker Voice: I assure you, Rosalie Lillian Hale did not grow on a bush.

Emmett: R-really? You're going to let me see my _real_ wife? In the flesh?

Speaker Voice: If you successfully isolate and destroy the truth you will win a date with Rosalie.

Emmett: (Happiness)

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: That was the first statement. Artichoke hearts are the best. Artichoke leaves are the best.

Emmett: Uh…well, the heart is the most important part of a body…and that's…uh…where love is kept. So, therefore…everyone must_ love _the…heart?

Speaker Voice: As much as I disagree, my superiors assure me that that is the correct answer and therefore you win the challenge.

Emmett: YYYYEEEESSSS!!!!!(Jumps for joy and breaks out into choruses of 'Singing in the rain')

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: (Waits)

Speaker Voice: What are you waiting for?

Emmett: Rosalie, my wife of course! (Resumes waiting)

Speaker Voice: I don't understand.

Emmett: You _said_ that I won a date with Rose(alie).

Speaker Voice: Your date is redeemable anytime after your release.

Miss Meow: Meow

Emmett: (Sits in wallows in self-pity) Why did this have to happen to me? I never did bad things. I mean, I laugh at Bella all the time…and pull pranks…and make fun…of……..more people.

Miss Meow: Meow

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**AN: I have nothing to say. Just review.**


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